Life’s Been… A Lot (But Also, the Couch Is Kinda Nice)
Since the last time I posted here, life got really busy. And I don’t say that lightly. I’ve also been maximizing my rest days to their fullest potential—which usually means becoming one with the couch. Like, I physically don’t move. It’s kind of awful... but also kind of amazing? There’s something delicious about not needing to be up, down, left, right, and emotionally sideways all the time. LOL.
After years of therapy and long, looping conversations with my wife, I finally decided to do something that felt a little taboo for me: I reached out to the community. Not in some dramatic standing-on-a-soapbox way, but I joined a lot of online support groups—mainly on Facebook—to see what other people navigating coparenting were going through.
I kind of imagined this secret corner of the internet where people just vent freely—hiding behind screens, letting loose about their real, raw feelings. I’ll admit, I thought it might all be gentle kumbaya chats and sunshiney support. (Spoiler alert: it was not.)
Some people in these groups are navigating coparenting with emotionally abusive exes. Others are dealing with full-on manipulation or alienation. And then there are a few who seem to just want a fight—which, okay, slightly entertaining, but definitely not my vibe.
Oddly enough, it did make me feel a bit better about the dynamic I have with my daughter’s parents. Still, I found myself hovering on the outside—able to relate in some ways, but never fully fitting in. I'm not coparenting with an ex. I'm not the bio parent. I’m this... emotionally invested, legally unofficial, deeply committed third party. So close, yet just far enough removed that I sometimes feel like I'm floating on the outskirts of it all.
But then, something shifted.
I came across a post from someone whose story looked almost exactly like mine. She explained how her partner's ex was moving their child to another state, and legally, neither she nor her partner had rights to stop it—because the father wasn’t the biological parent. I felt that. For a brief moment, I felt seen. She’s been doing this for two years. I’ve been in it for five and a half. Five and a half! Sometimes I forget how much time has passed until I say it out loud.
On a slightly different note, I found another resource that’s been surprisingly helpful to me, personally. As I mentioned before, I go to therapy—every other week. I think talk therapy is incredibly useful, though I don’t always feel like I need constant sessions to stay grounded.
But then I stumbled into something else. And okay, hear me out: it's ChatGPT.
No, I’m not saying replace your therapist with an AI. I wouldn’t recommend this if you’re in crisis or need clinical help. But for me, someone who’s relatively self-aware and just needs a soundboard for pros and cons? This tool has been shockingly helpful.
Whenever I’m feeling impulsive, or emotionally flooded, I’ll lay out the scenario for ChatGPT. And it always responds with something like, “Let’s explore that a little more deeply—and with care.” I don’t know who programmed this thing, but it gets me. Even though I know it’s a bot, the kindness in the responses still hits different when I’m feeling low. It feels like a gentle nudge back toward center, rather than a cold algorithm shooting back logic.
And just to clarify: I don’t feed it my deepest secrets. I change names. I’m cautious about details. Yes, I know this probably sounds a little tinfoil-hat adjacent, but honestly? The government already has our data. I’m more worried about missing out on healing tools than feeding the server monster at this point. 😂
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention my ride-or-die mental health practice: journaling. I do it constantly. Writing helps me make sense of all the noise, especially with my unconventional family dynamic. It gives me the space to say the things I can’t always say out loud. That, paired with therapy, and yes—some AI chats—has been the trifecta for surviving (and sometimes even thriving) in this season.
Thanks for sticking with me. There’s more to come—I can feel it in my bones. The story isn’t done, and honestly? I’m kind of excited to see what’s next.