Finding my place as a parent

I think one of the things that took me a couple of years to really achieve was a place in my child’s life. Some days I still find myself battling those thoughts.

Star ⭐️ already had two wonderful mothers in her life and I felt like I was inserting myself, without the invitation from the other parents. A very deep part of me felt like I needed the validation to come from Star ⭐ because parenting for me was disciplining and making the hard decisions that take away the fun from the adventure. (At least that’s what I thought at the time)

I came into Star’s ⭐️ life right after she turned 3, she was just hitting toddlerhood. And toddlers need a lot of guidance in regards to learning how to adapt and explore their environment. So I felt as one of her caretakers this is where it’s okay to jump into that role. (Of course not right away)

I would seek help from my wife by kind of being a big sister and tattling all the time so mom could take corrective action. But it became clearer later that I was okay to take action too. This also was a lot of work for my relationship with my wife because it couldn't be my decision alone. 

My wife was such an amazing person while I battled these emotions. The first time I opened up to her I remember I had been having this internal battle for a while. At this point I remember it was at least a year from the time I had met Star ⭐️. She reassured me with beautiful words like, I invited you into my child’s life because I trust you and I see how you treat her. You are an amazing mom even if you don't feel the way you do. [It wasn't in those exact words but it warmed my heart nonetheless]

She allowed me to explore my parenting style especially when it came to the tantrums. We both have trauma from our childhood, in how we were disciplined. I learned that patience really is key to a wonderful relationship with your family.