Communication and Boundaries

Parenting a child with another parent is hard. Being on the same page, figuring out scheduling, if finances are involved like child support and other expenses for the child can be challenging. I mean it literally becomes a second job. 

One of the most crucial parts of this whole ordeal is figuring out healthy and comfortable boundaries. It was difficult at first with parent A. We had to have those uncomfortable but necessary discussions about interactions with family members and the conversations to be had on their part versus our part, even how far they could step into our doorway. After 3 years we found a good boundary where we could comfortably co-parent. Now I can say our partnership is more like a friendship but that didn't come easily.😅

After about 4 years, we added a new addition to the parenting dynamic. Parent C had always been around but was only as present as they could possibly be (being as they lived out of state). They moved closer to our little one and now we had to restart, or I guess modify, our boundaries. It was easy at first, parent C didn't mind compromising with us at first. 

Once Parent C got married things took a major turn. This is where boundaries really became a priority. Communication between the parents started off really great and we were talking about needs and wants of the kiddo but Parent C had a big family trip planned but details were not communicated on time, the trip was halfway across the world and that can be a scary trip for separate families. We weren't sure and having little to no information within a reasonable time was a hard thing to digest. Two families were against the idea and we believe this really struck a nerve with Parent C. 

Conversations became hostile and passive aggressive. A boundary we set (after having heated conversations for a month😬) was to stop, breathe, assess and then reply. It really felt like it should've worked but I’ll tell you something, you can’t change people and their mindsets but you can change yourself and become better at communicating and continuing to set those boundaries. 

This is still a major issue today and we try to get by without letting our emotions take ahold of our conversations.