Anger and Frustration
For those who are struggling with their emotions in this crazy experience, I can't say it gets better with time but it gets easier to ride the roller coaster. I find myself still struggling/learning to adapt and change around the frustrations.
I don’t remember the first time we experienced anger within our co-parenting dynamic but I remember being so frustrated it was all I thought about for weeks. I did overcome it in my own ways and I learned to understand patterns from our co-parents. The patterns I learned were the emotions, words they use, thoughts or concerns they presented. It really helped me to take a better understanding to our relationships even if I don’t agree and wish it was better. (You’re not alone if you have these same thoughts)
I want to share a little bit of my story to help make a connection about anger within our dynamic.
As of August 2024, I am so pissed. The relationship between Parent C and Parents A/B has absolutely derailed. [This is also after months and months of unfavorable conversations]
Parent C feels like taking control without consulting the rest of the trio about their plans with our kiddo. They disgustingly fill our child's hopes with wonderlands of rainbows and unicorns then we (as in Parents A and B) have to be the bad guys and crush those little dreams.. How is that even fair?
What I am referring to is making decisions about Star’s ⭐️ schooling. My little Star ⭐️ is going into second grade. Last year she had a bad experience in public school. She was bullied constantly, the teachers were unhelpful and the school proved to be a toxic environment for Star ⭐️. We wanted to try something new, we believed homeschooling would be a decent choice to get away from the craziness of public education and to really focus on our kiddo to give her a more intimate learning experience while also creating challenges that push her intelligence.
When we first brought up the idea to Parent C they were extremely opposed because Parent C’s wife was homeschooled and she had a bad experience. We didn't downplay that there would be bumps in the road but we knew that in this case we were all going to support each other through whatever hurdles would happen; apart of everything Parent A and B knew there was always plan b (putting Star ⭐️ into a physical school halfway through the year as it’s not unheard of). Nonetheless, Parent C was not having it but they nodded their heads at the end of our sit down which as a human indicator means yes.
Parent C (without consulting any of us) took Parent A [primary parent or parent with full custody] off of the school system and enrolled our little one in the school of their choice. We truly were under the impression that they agreed to homeschool Star ⭐️ with us.
I think for me personally what is absolutely infuriating about this situation is that it’s not the first time. Up to this point the actions they’ve taken were minor like allowing YouTube in their home after agreeing as a unit to ban YouTube. Small but we could still sit down with Star ⭐️ communicate what was going on and control our environment. But this time they took it to an extreme and to hear an excuse like “you all should've talked to us before we took action” is just ridiculous and unnecessary aggression.
I can admit you never stop learning. I know we still have about 11 years until we can finally go our separate ways and enjoy our daughter’s presence without having to worry about the consequences. Which allows me to create a more intuitive discussion with the world.For those who are struggling with their emotions in this crazy experience, I can't say it gets better with time but it gets easier to ride the roller coaster. I find myself still struggling/learning to adapt and change around the frustrations.