Growing My Little Family

I’ve reached a point in my life where starting a family of my own feels incredibly important. It’s been one of the most challenging journeys I’ve ever faced! Being in a same-sex relationship, having a child naturally wasn’t an option for us, so we decided to explore IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). At first, it seemed straightforward, but once we got into the process, it became clear how much it really involves.

You need solid insurance or quite a bit of savings, and you have to be extremely proactive—something I didn’t fully expect. The internet makes it sound like “here you go, have a baby,” but in reality, there’s so much paperwork, choices to make, donor selection, and even counseling just to understand the process. It feels like a long checklist of steps where one thing has to be done before moving on to the next, and often, the support you expect doesn’t come unless you ask for it.

As of April 2025, we’re waiting for the donor sperm to arrive at our clinic so we can begin the egg retrieval and fertilization. I’m excited, but it’s been a mix of hope, doubt, worry, and exhaustion. I’ve dreamed of becoming a first-time mom to a newborn for so long—ever since I was a teenager, really.

One thing I’m already thinking about is how to balance life with my daughter and a new baby. It’s not a new challenge—many families navigate it—but our kids will be quite a few years apart, so it’s something I want to approach thoughtfully. Growing up, I saw how differently siblings were sometimes treated, and I want to avoid that.

My goal is to give each child age-appropriate quality time while also encouraging them to bond with each other. Even though my daughter isn’t with us as much as we’d like, I want to prioritize our time with her while also nurturing her relationship with her future sibling. I want to avoid putting her in the role of ‘caretaker’ too early, because I know firsthand how that can impact a child emotionally. Instead, I want to foster a genuine sibling bond filled with love and support.

Of course, I have some worries about how my daughter might feel—whether she’ll struggle with feelings of rejection or resentment. But seeing the love she already shows for her siblings with her other parents gives me hope that those feelings won’t take hold.

I’m hopeful that in about two months, I’ll be able to share news about the pregnancy. Stay tuned!