Growing My Little Family
I have come to a point in my life where I want to have kids of my own. This has been one of the most challenging things ever! I am in a same-sex relationship and having kids naturally is close to impossible, so we looked into IVF (InVitro Fertilization). We decided to use my wife’s egg and a sperm donor. It seems all nice and dandy until you start going through the process; you have to have a decent insurance plan or a load of money, you have to be extremely proactive which I’ll be honest I didn’t know was a requirement. The internet makes it sound like there was more science involved with the mentality of “here you go, have a baby.” It’s not that simple there is paperwork to sign, decisions to be made, you have to pick your donor, you have to find a counselor to talk to as just an informational guide on the process. Just a lot of cya (cover your ass) stuff and I’m not sure if the clinic we chose was just new to having an online system but I felt like each one of those things I mentioned were like on a timeline meaning I felt it was more of a checklist where one thing had to be done before the next because none of these resources were available to me until I asked which I felt was very weird but nonetheless we are almost done.
As of April 2025, I am waiting for the sperm we chose to be shipped and sent to our fertility clinic to finally begin the egg retrieval and then fertilize the egg to get pregnant! I am excited but there has been a lot of doubt and worry and exhaustion. I have wanted to carry a child for so long, it’s weird to say out loud but I’ve wanted to be a mom since I was 16, I mean yes I was young and dumb but this overwhelming feeling of being loved by one being forever was just heartwarming. I think I have to give a lot of credit to my momma, she was just a huge support in my life and was one of the most loving beings I’ve ever been in contact with. I always thank the higher beings for bringing her into my life or more putting me in hers right?😁
I think one thing I do want to really want to emphasize once I have another child is being able to balance Star⭐️ and a new baby; like I know it’s not a new concept of families growing and parents dealing with a new addition while balancing their other growing child. I think I want to try something new which I think is harder said than done but our kids will be 9 years apart and that already is something we have to think about but one thing I always disagreed with was when my sibling was treated differently while growing up; there are the more dramatic accounts like I got spanked as discipline while my sister got grounded or yelled at.
My idea is to give each sibling their age appropriate quality time while also making sure to integrate quality time with each other. Although Star⭐️ is not with us as often as we would like, I would prioritize our time with her while also making sure she spends time with her new sibling to build a bond and love for each other. I want to also not through Star⭐️ into the responsibility role of the ‘older sibling caretaker’ if that makes sense; I was part of that group where parents were always working to meet our physical needs that I became the parent to meet my siblings’ emotional needs which I definitely want to try to avoid but I want her to also love her sibling as an older sibling if that makes sense.
I also have my fears about Star⭐️ feeling rejection and maybe some resentment as we have been the family in her life who hasn’t had another child come into our dynamic yet. Although I have seen her interact with her brother and she loves the heck out of that little guy so my worries aren’t as bad as they used to be before she had siblings with her other parents.
I hopefully have about two more months before I finally get pregnant, stay tuned for an update.😬