Becoming Friends with Peace

In the last six months I have had so many emotions that I have had to battle. There was depression, sadness, anger, frustration, grief, anxiety, I mean the list goes on and on. I couldn’t help but get riled up every single time that I saw or heard Parent C’s name or his wife’s name. 

I started to talking to myself every time that it happened and asked “where is my anger focused?,” because my focus should only and always be on Star⭐️ and her wellbeing. As long as she’s safe and not being harmed, I realized I needed to try not to let these emotions consume me. (I use the phrase “being harmed” thoughtfully, as I have my own concerns about challenges in our parenting dynamic.)

Where I really struggled was to redirect my focus and anger and make sure I was being intentional with my feelings and thoughts because with how often I was getting upset, I was also affecting my relationship with my wife because she also felt all of the same emotions but her frustration was surrounded by guilt because she couldn’t do anything to ease my mind and my thoughts without taking legal action but we want to prevent our kiddo from going in front of a judge and being in such a vulnerable situation; this is all coming from personal experience because my wife went through that and it was really traumatic for her and she just wants to prevent our child from sharing that same trauma. 

So as I continued to understand where and how I am directing my feelings, I realized that with a lot of willpower and patience I was able to create peace and even humor out of Parent C’s way of thinking. I think being honest with our child has really helped me internally because I am not hiding my emotions or at least not all of them, I am also focusing on my child and if she is happy and thriving then I don’t need to care about the silly disagreements between the adults.

I once was Star⭐️ and I know that there may be a day when she will come crying her eyes out because she feels unheard, unseen or overwhelmed by her parents’ disagreements. If that ever happens, hopefully, I will be the adult for her that I needed—Someone she can turn to, who truly listens. I just hope that day never comes and she is able to thrive without ever feeling alone especially having three sets of parents who only want the best for her.